Soul Eater puppet pals: Stein's diary
by CronaxMakaFTW
Summary: A soul eater version of Snape's diary. I chose the characters from how their names sounded in the mysterious ticking noise. R


"Hey guys!" Maka ran in panting, clutching a leather book under her arm. "Look what I found," Tsubaki and Soul came over

"Is it a young adult vampire romance novel?" Soul interrupted.

"It's a book I found under Stein's bed in a locked trunk! It's his diary." she stated happily.

Soul piped up from the corner "shall we read it?"

Maka shook her head at him "I've got a better idea, let's read it!" The blonde announced opening the first page.

_Today I ate some oatmeal for breakfast. It was flavorless and watery, I thought of my mother. I cried._

"I'm hungry!" Soul stated

"What else is new fatty!?" Maka shouted back

_Today I put on my lab coat and went to the illegal trading shop. I purchased a pair of mice, when I took them home; one devoured the other and then died of loneliness. I felt envy. _

"This is hilarious." Maka chuckled

"Oh look Maka, I see your name!" Tsubaki pointed to a spot on the page.

"Wow. You're good at reading Tsubaki." Soul whispered

_Today, that Albarn girl showed me her middle finger. When I attempted to punish her with detention, she shoved me into a wall screaming 'Bother, Bother' over and over. Later her and her silver friend repeated the violent act until I lost consciousness._

"I remember that Soul! Give me five!" Maka chimed, raising her hand in the air.

"You already took my money, Maka." He said blankly and Maka just sighed.

_I lost a button on my coat today_ _and Azusa pointed it out in front of the entire faculty. Oh cruel attention. Button, oh button. Oh where have thee fled? Did thee tarry to long among fabric and thread? Did thee roll of my bosom and cease to exist? How I wish I could follow thee, into the mist._

"What's a bosom Maka?" Soul tilted his head to the side

"Yeah tell him Maka." Tsubaki smirked

"Oh look another page." She started reading again.

_Today while in the bath tub, _"Ewww!" everyone shouted. _I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I was riding a kishin through a thunderstorm and every clap resolved in to their voices. Bother bother, suddenly in turned into music. I was at the shibusen prom with Kami Albarn. I asked her to dance... she asked me to die. Would that I could Kami, would that I could._

"My mom was awesome!" Maka shouted

_When I awoke my skin was wrinkled like an old soul._

"Mmm I like souls!" Soul stated happily

"Did somebody say souls!?" Asura popped up wearing nothing but bandages.

"I said souls. How did he know?" soul gasped

"What are you three up to? Plotting to kill me?" he asked

"No, we're invading Professor Stein's privacy by reading his personal diary." Maka explained and Tsubaki and Soul nodded.

"But you don't have any souls for me do you?" he sighed

"I'm afraid not." Maka nodded solemnly

"I'm very, disappointed in you Maka." He growled sinking away.

_Today, the silver one drank one of my more expensive concoctions. He promptly vomited a glittery rainbow. The entire class erupted with applause, triggering my migraine. I aborted the class and was left to clean the boy's sick_, _halfway through Spirit Albarn came in and bragged about his many affairs with bar maids. He then told I smelt like rotten cheese and left without wishing me a happy birthday. I thought of my father. I cried._

"This is boring. Let's write a new entry." Maka looked at her friends

"Here's one of the completely useless pens I carry with me all the time!" Tsubaki handed her a pen.

_**I am Stein, I'm so sad because I screw things up a lot. (**_A/N: pun intended.) _**I don't have any friends because I smell like rotten cheese. I teach duel arts to Maka Albarn and it's really boring because she's so cool, well I think I'm gonna go cry now.**_

"Hahahahahaha! Can I try?" Soul asked

"Be my guest." Maka responded, giving him the pen

_**I m S**_

"Ok that was a good try Soul." Tsubaki patted his shoulder. Stein stumbled into the room with his head in his hands.

'Someone knocked me out and ransacked my lab. Wait a minute, that book! What are you doing!?" he shouted at the trio.

"Stein! Soul stole your diary!" Maka blurted out

"What!? You didn't read it did you!?" he asked them angrily

"Oh he read it alright, he read it all." The blonde nodded

"I liked the story about the button Stein." Soul said

"You... You did?"

"It made me sad, thinking about that button. Lost and alone. I hope you find your button Stein." He nodded sadly.

"So do I silver one. So do I."


End file.
